Thursday, June 19, 2008

To: God
Re: Hypocrites

It’s so easy for you to say to just choose differently next time if things go wrong, but by then the damage is already done. Can you really blame me for not having confidence in myself after everything that’s happened to me? You’ve seen the results of a lot of it. I don’t want those consequences and responsibilities on my shoulders. Maybe there is a lot of rubbish in the Bible, but there’s also a lot of good stuff in there too.


Those Christians who can allow gay marriages (even in church now, I’m sorry to say) aren’t true Christians, like those ‘Christians’ who start wars and abuse children. You said the Bible clearly condemns homosexuality. It’s not hard to find the bits in it that do, so anyone who can know that, ignore it and still call themselves a Christian has something wrong somewhere. It makes it even worse that it was two gay priests who were married. They should know better. They can’t even say it was a stupid mistake. They didn’t get drunk or anything and end up accidentally getting married in church. It was all planned. They’re not fit to be priests. The Bible says homosexuality is bad, but they still continue to do that kind of stuff. They obviously have faith in something else more than the teachings they’re teaching other people.


If society starts allowing same-sex marriages, then how long will it be before brothers and sisters are allowed to marry? Before we know it the church will be marrying relatives too.


M_ses lived in a different time when there were different moral standards. Of course I don’t condone it, but he wasn’t a Christian, because Christianity didn’t exist yet. He was probably following either his mind or his heart when he decided to do what he did (see what I’m getting at there?). From what I can tell, all the scheming you tell me he did to hide his crimes or justify them, it’s probably his mind, the same thing you said should be my first port of call when deciding whether or not to do something.


Gabriel, truth be told, I did actually come home to have a shower. I just had it before I sent my last message because if I had said I was going to have a shower, then you’d watch. Don’t make me start having to take showers at a different time each day just to fool you.


I asked you to promise me that you weren’t going to watch me any more, not to justify yourself. You said compassion was caring about people. I don’t want you watching me. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and if you care about me, you’ll stop it.


Maybe I would get good comments if I did upload a video like that, but if they’re comments from people like you, I can do without them, thanks.


About my dad, there’s a lot of contributing factors to that. He acts as though Mum never happened and I don’t exist. We never talk, and he’s always bringing girls home with him, a large majority of them young enough to be his daughter, some of them probably not far off granddaughter. A few weeks ago, he brought home a girl who used to be in my science class. That was just weird. He’d make me feel like an inconvenience to him if he ever actually spoke to me. I do my best to avoid him but when I am forced to be in the same room as him I might as well be invisible for all the recognition I get. After Mum died and I needed someone the most was when he suddenly didn’t want to know me any more. I know he doesn’t care about me. He makes me feel so worthless and insignificant.


-Poppy


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