Saturday, December 20, 2008

To: God
Re: The most wonderful time of the year

I completely agree with you about Damien. I’m so worried about him. I went into town the other day (I really didn’t want to go and leave Jack, but he’d had run out of painkillers and there was nobody else home who could get them) and saw Damien out Christmas shopping with Michelle and Chelsea. I was watching Damien so closely, I was sure he was going to blow his top any second. Every time Michelle said something I could see Damien holding back a dozen nasty words and comebacks. Sometimes he couldn’t help himself and had to let them out under his breath. I wanted to go up and talk to him, but I didn’t think it was a good idea while Michelle was there, and I was uncomfortable being away from Jack for so long, especially when he was at home on his own.

From the amount of presents Michelle was buying Chelsea for Christmas, you’d really think Michelle cared! Of course, Damien was the one who had to push the pram, with all the shopping bags hung over the handles too. I was waiting for it to topple backwards with all the weight. I’m glad it didn’t happen though, I’m sure Michelle would have gone absolutely ballistic. Damien texted me when he saw me across the street, told me that all these presents were being paid for with the money that was supposed to be for the wedding, and she’d be complaining after Christmas about where it had all gone. And it’s even sadder that Damien’s expected to go out and buy presents for Michelle too, but she’s not buying him anything. She’s not even letting him out of her sight to let him buy any presents either! I don’t think Damien minds much on that front though, he doesn’t want to buy her presents anyway.

I can’t imagine that it’s going to be that much longer before something happens with Damien. At least, I hope it’s not. I can see when Damien’s with Michelle he always looks like he’s ready to either cry or kill her. I’m scared that one day he’s really going to lose it and he is going to do something drastic like that.

I guess I’ll just never understand the way angels think. I find it difficult to understand the mentality you’d have to have to think that handcuffing someone almost naked to a lamppost on the morning of their wedding then bringing them home and going back on a promise you made would be the best way to help someone. I know it would be so easy to just think that all’s well that ends well, but I can’t work that way.

I do appreciate what Gabriel did for me, I’ve really needed my dad recently, but there were still other ways she could have got me and him talking.

Things are getting really difficult with Jack now, even more than before. The nurse comes to the house every day now, and every day she tells Jack he should be in hospital, but he always refuses. He doesn’t want to go into hospital and be away from me, and I don’t want that either. It’s so difficult to be with him though, he can’t do anything on his own. The cancer is still spreading through his body, it’s going through his stomach now. He can hardly eat anything. It’s getting to the point now where I wonder whether he’ll starve to death before the cancer can finish him off. He’s on less than 200 calories a day, according to the nurse, but he just can’t bring himself to eat any more. After only a few bites of anything he’s full and out of breath. He keeps getting terrible headaches too. They say the cancer might even be in his brain now too. They can’t tell without doing the proper scans, but they think so. Jack refuses to go to hospital to have it checked, but all the signs are there. The headaches he gets all the time, and sometimes he even forgets things he said two minutes ago. I hate seeing him like this, he’s in almost constant pain, but at the same time I can’t bear to be without him. And the worst part of it all is that I know one day very soon, in the next week or so according to what the nurse has said, I am going to be without him, and I’m going to be without him forever.

Last week was a marked first for me. The 10th of December was the anniversary of when my mum died, and I didn’t visit her grave. I really wanted to, but I couldn’t tear myself away from Jack, and Dad told me not to go. He said Mum’s already dead, and I haven’t got that much time left with Jack, I should make the most of what time I’ve got left. I don’t think Mum would be happy me being away from Jack now either.

It was Jack’s birthday on the 17th. I wish it was a happy one. He wouldn’t even let me buy him a present, he said he won’t be around to enjoy it for that long. I know that, but I still wish I could have got him something, it felt wrong that it was his birthday and I couldn’t give him a present. He said being with me was his present, I didn’t leave his side once that day. We even had a bath together. It felt so brilliant, it’s been so long since we’ve done anything like that. We really wanted to have a shower together, but he can barely stand up now, he couldn’t have stood up in the shower for long enough with me. We were in the bath for hours. We even had to keep putting more hot water in because it was getting cold, we were in there that long. I think it must have been about two and a half hours.

I can’t stand seeing Jack like he is. I asked Dad about it, I know he’s seen someone die of this before, but he said that Angela never got like this, the cancer had already killed her long before this point. I try not to talk about it with Dad now, I don’t want to know that. I know Jack’s on death’s door, but to think he should already be through it is horrible. I’m so thankful for every hour I get with him now, even if he is spending it in almost constant pain. I wish there was something I could do to make the pain go away though, it’s horrible.

It’s so difficult for me to imagine what my life is going to be like without Jack. I hate thinking about it, but I know it’s coming very soon. Every second he’s here, I just want to sit and stare at him and take in every detail of him while I still can, the thought of him not being there is horrible. I’m trying to prepare myself for it, but I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.

I hope Jack manages to last through Christmas, I won’t be able to bear it if he doesn’t. All the time I keep seeing things on TV and all over the place, all these happy family films about how Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s not. I hate it. There’s only one thing I want for Christmas and that’s Jack, and every second makes it seem more and more unlikely that I’m going to have him.

Jack really wanted to go to church over Christmas, but he can’t even get downstairs without huge amounts of help. There’s no way he’s going to church, and he’s definitely not driving there.

Gabriel, that’s really sick and sadistic, even by your standards.

Oh yeah, the government really need those big lunches and taxi rides everywhere and flash cars. Never mind that the rest of the country is in economic crisis or the NHS is severely underfunded or any of that. The government do need that money, they’re just not putting it into the things that really matter. Well, things that really matter to anyone but themselves.

Oh sorry, forgive me. You may find this hard to believe but I don’t watch much porn. Still, if it’s basically videos of people having sex, surely people are going to learn from that? Especially if it’s watched by the kind of sad pathetic losers who have to watch porn because they can’t get a real girl to do things with. Porn is disgusting and immoral, there’s no need for it.

I can revisit the memories without having to watch it on TV. Even if I could get over the disgusting element of it, I don’t know if I’d want to see Jack like that. It’s so different to how he is now. It would hurt to see him like he used to be again.

I’m not going to enjoy watching videos of you stripping for people. Never will. Say what you like, it’s not going to happen. You know, there was actually one bit I decided to watch because you were actually wearing clothes, but I gave up on that one once it got to the part where you and Michael were swapping clothes and you were saying how Michael should wear skirts more often because it makes him easier to get access to, I couldn’t watch any more.

There’s more to life than just having fun. Yeah, sex is a lot of fun, but that’s the problem. It’s so much fun people just do it and forget the consequences until it’s too late. The world is getting into a pretty big mess because of it all, because people don’t control themselves and use the proper precautions.

I give up trying to argue with you about Jack and his dad, I don’t have the energy. Jack’s so happy his dad is here and things are cool between them now. I’m glad he’s here too, and his mum. I wish I could do everything for Jack 24 hours a day, but sometimes it gets too much for me and I have to sleep. I try to sleep at the same time as Jack so I don’t feel like I’m missing too much, but it’s not always possible.

I can’t imagine how anyone else will ever be able to replace Jack. Nobody else will ever feel to me like they’re worthy after Jack, Jack is absolutely perfect. He’s the most brilliant guy in the world.

I’m not watching those DVDs, it’s sick. I’ll just take your word for it.

It’s going to be a long time before you see me happy again. It’s impossible with this whole situation with Jack. Why did it have to be Christmas time? Any other time of year but now. All this happy Christmas stuff is doing my head in. It’s not a happy Christmas for me at all. Then again, Christmas hasn’t been a happy time for me for years now, it’s nothing new. Dad went out and bought a Christmas tree this year and put it all up himself. Normally that responsibility falls on me, but things are different this year. Normally it’s a miracle if Dad’s home for Christmas at all, or if he is home there’s someone else with him. If he hadn’t have bothered with the decorations this year, there’s no way I would have. It’s not just time, I’ve barely been home at all with Jack the way he is. It’s been a good few days since I’ve been home at all. Every now and then there’s something I need to get, but I try and last as long as possible without it. I hate having to leave Jack.

Things don’t count when people are drunk, it’s not the real them you’re seeing. There’s no way you’d have gotten me pole dancing without being drunk, and the only reason I enjoyed it was because I was with you. Weird things happen to my head when I’m around you. As for the underwear issue, I’m not passing comment on that.

I’d give everything I have just to have Christmas day with my husband. I love him so much. It’s not fair. My first Christmas with my husband shouldn’t have to be my last, and even then it’s constantly in the balance whether I’m even going to get that. Come on Jack, please. You can last 5 more days, right?


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

To: Poppy
Re: Abandoned

Capable yes, but he currently lacks the energy or the genuine willpower to do so. He needs to find a way to get that back, and that’s going to be very difficult for him being in Michelle’s grip. When he does, he’ll need to try to do it without flipping completely, otherwise the consequences will be even worse for him. You’re quite right that having a job might well give him the time away from her to get some of his energy back, assuming he’ll be even able to get past the interview with the mental state he has now.

Chelsea would, at this point anyway, be far better off in care that she would with her parents. The keyword is ‘care’, which she’s getting none of at the moment. At this point she’d have an advantage in that she’s too young (and hasn’t bonded really with her parents) to really understand, so she’d get a bit of a fresh start. Hopefully this time with parents who are eager to look after her. Still, she is by far not the only child in the world to be neglected in such a manner. It is a sad reflection that at such a dangerous point in human development there is not enough being done to ensure the next generation will be able (or even willing) to repair the damage done by the previous ones. This cycle can only result in your species eventual destruction, either at their own hands or by those that would not see such aggression and foolishness spread throughout your galaxy later.

Of course, he could end his relationships without either one knowing about the other at the moment, but it’s getting more and more unlikely the longer he waits. He’s got himself into a real tangled mess, but he could still walk away. If he waits until Michelle finds out, he might not have use of his legs to do so, metaphorically or otherwise.

As it is, Gabriel does HAVE to find a perverted way of being compassionate. Angels are not like humans in that way, they don’t have the same choices open to them. She is literally physically incapable of doing it in any other way, just as Michael is incapable of acting without compassion. To deny the part of her that is her would be to try to deny herself, and it’s something that can’t be done. It’d be like asking you to simply stop being human.

Unfortunately, nobody ever really gets used to heartbreak or the loss of a loved one. They get better at dealing with the loss, they can understand why it had to happen or that it doesn’t mean the end of their happiness, but it still hurts each time. It is something that humans, due to their limited lives have to deal with, and the way they do that is up to them.

It does say something for how your relationship with your father has changed that you weren’t sure you could bear the week without him there. Before it might have been that it would have been more difficult to deal with if he WAS there. That’s a real step in the right direction, and something Gabriel was mostly responsible for.

As is obvious, Jack is now reaching the final part of his life. What humans usually forget at this point is that it’s not how long you spend together that matters (because that is never eternal), but the quality of the time, the glory of the experience together. With you and Jack that’s been fantastic, and is something you’ll always be able to remember as a happy time of your life. There will of course, be other such times, and ones when you’re not happy too. That is part of the balance of all life, and people must deal with it the best they can. Everyone cries tears of joy and sorrow, just at different times, and for different reasons. What they all have in common is they’ve chosen the reasons for the joy or sorrow, they’ve assigned what they believe to be important to them in their minds, and it is your choice how you perceive each event. Every experience in life has no utter definition as to whether it’s good or bad, only how you choose to relate to it is what makes it feel that way.

I am certain that, were Jack’s Christian God to exist in reality, he wouldn’t mind him not going to church on a Sunday, given how poor his health is. I think he’d understand, and I’m sure in truth that Jack knows that too.

-----Original Message-----
From: Complaints Department [mailto:Address removed by anti spam software]
Sent: 06th December 2008 22:52
To: God
Subject: FW: Downturn

Well, I suppose in the case of terrorists you humans could find some vicious way of torturing them. Maybe you could chop off bits of their body and use them as bait for fish? While they’re still alive if we’re feeling sadistic today...

Yeah, some people think it’ll be a big thing and some don’t, for individual customers it probably means sod all unless you’re buying something really expensive, or a whole load of things. For businesses though who buy massive amounts in bulk it could mean quite big savings for them, so if it helps make some profit for them and lets them give the customer a bit of a saving maybe it’s not such a bad idea. Still, that’s money the governments not getting, and we all know they need all that money for really important stuff like Limo’s and big lunches!

Porn doesn’t really say ‘this is how it’s done’, except in the minds of stupid people. Like most other businesses though it makes a lot of money, and the advantage is people (customers and employees) enjoy it, so why not?

Knowing what you looked like doesn’t take the magic away, you looked great! Both of you! You were obviously having a wonderful time together, and I think it’d be good for you to be able to revisit some of those memories in HD!

Yeah I know, I did go a little bit overboard with the scenes of me, but you should learn to enjoy that! Some pleasant memories of your maid of honour! I’ve already shown my undying love for Michael, we’ve bonded, shared all of our thoughts and feelings, so we know exactly what we need to know. A ring won’t help us further that cause no matter how romantic it sounds to humans.

Well, it doesn’t create such problems if people use proper precautions, the last thing people need to do is control themselves. If they did that, nobody would have any fun! Life is about being you, expressing you to the world. Being who I am, sex is one of the natural ways to do that! Sexual drive is a big part of humans too; obviously it has to be otherwise you’d never have reproduced enough to get to where you are.

Well, before I came along they were still related, but it didn’t seem to count for anything between them then did it? I provided them with a new common starting point, which is always easier to use that what you know and are used to, and not embarrassed about!

You’ll have more orgasms in your life Poppy, there are always more worthy people out there for you to be with. You just have to find them! And yes you do, as evidenced by any of those DVD’s I sent you! Proof!

Well I do have your best interests at heart, believe it or not. I do love seeing you happy, and I’d like to see more of that! You’re much more alive, and much more filled with sexual energy! Drunk or not, you enjoyed pole dancing, and you were both turned on fishing the keys out of each other’s underwear!

Love, light and medical experiments,

Signature - There'll be time for explanations later. And hopefully, some sex!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

To: God
Re: Downturn

I’m beginning to wonder if Damien really is capable of saying no to Michelle. I know if it was me in his position I probably would have cracked months ago, but then I don’t think I would have let it go so far in the first place. He’s starting to scare me now, I’m so worried for him. I’m worried for Chelsea, and Michelle too a little bit, although I know she deserves what’s coming to her. I can hear in Damien’s voice when he’s on the phone that he’s so close to breaking point, and I’m worried what he’s going to do when he gets there. I think he’s getting to the point now where he’s more angry at Michelle than his general situation, and he’s starting to know now what he has to do to change it, but I’m worried he might not be able to control himself and he’s going to do something that he’ll really regret later. I saw him lose it once before, but I was there to stop him. This time I might not be there and he could end up doing something terrible.

Of course, I know it’s going to get worse now. Now he’s not at college, I expect it’ll only be a matter of time before she starts nagging him to get a job. He doesn’t have the energy for a job, and now he’s dropped out of college he’s not qualified to even get the job he wants. I wonder if that’ll break him. Then again, a job might be just what he needs to get away from Michelle. At least that way with Damien out of the house, Michelle would have to look after Chelsea.

I feel so sorry for Chelsea. Poor little thing, she can’t do anything for herself and relies on everyone else to help her, but nobody wants to do it for her. I feel so sorry for her. She’s such a beautiful baby. It’s horrible being taken into care, but I don’t think she’d be much better off with her parents. I wonder how Damien and Michelle would react if something like that did happen. I think Damien would probably be overjoyed, but Michelle could make his life hell afterwards, I expect she’d blame him.

Right now Damien’s using the excuse that he never goes on Facebook any more. I don’t think Michelle knows about his Bebo page. I wonder how long that can last. I just hope he can end it between him and his girlfriends before they have to find out through Facebook, or else it’s going to get ugly. If he just had the courage to do it, he could do it without them even having to know about each other. I’ve told him this, but he’s too tired to listen.

Gabriel doesn’t HAVE to find a perverted way of being compassionate. There are ways she could have done it without having to lap dance for Jack or tie us up almost naked to a lamppost. You might think she was watching us to make sure nobody else saw us, I call it perving. There was NO reason she had to tie us to that lamppost, and she especially didn’t have to take our clothes off. She could also have gotten Jack to talk to his dad without having to lap dance for him. She has her excuses, but I know it’s rubbish.

I’m used to being on my own, I have been most of my life. This wouldn’t have been the first death I had to get over without anyone there for me. I think I get over things better on my own. That’s what I’m used to now. I’m not used to telling other people how I feel, and even less used to having people listen. I’m glad he’s there though to listen to me, he’s been there for me this week. I don’t know if I’d have been able to bear this week without Dad there.

Jack’s health now, it’s reached rock bottom. Saturday night we were in Jack’s bed, he managed to get up the energy to do it with me, but half way through he just collapsed on top of me in pain. He couldn’t move. We called the doctor and we went to the hospital with him and it turned out Jack’s spine had fractured. The cancer has spread so far throughout his body it’s gone in his bones now too, his spine was so weak it just cracked. It was so weak the doctor said it almost split in two. Then it all came out, the day before the wedding, Jack was in hospital longer than usual for chemotherapy, but I was so happy and busy with the wedding and the honeymoon I never asked him why, but he now told me he was having x-rays on his spine. The doctors had told him not to put any pressure on it, and sex was out of the question for him, they wanted to keep him in hospital for a few more days, but Jack wasn’t going to miss the wedding and discharged himself and then had sex I don’t know how many times with me on the honeymoon, when he knew his spine could break at any time. I don’t know what we would have done if it had happened when we were in America. I told him he shouldn’t have been having sex with me if he knew that, but he just smiled back at me and told me he’d never have been able to not do it. I know he’s right though, even with the risk of breaking his back, it was worth it. Still, that’s the end of it all now, no more sex for us. He can’t even sit up on his own. They’ve given him a back brace now to hold his spine in place, but that’s all they’re doing. Every time Jack moves he’s in pain. They could easily fix his back with an operation, but the NHS won’t do it, they say he could die any day now, his pain doesn’t mean anything to them. Jack’s dad was going to pay for him to go private, the operation is so quick, it basically involves injecting his spine with a special bone cement to fix the spine and fill the cavity the cancer has made, but Jack won’t do it. He’s terrified if he goes into hospital they won’t let him out again. When we got home from the hospital in the early hours of Monday morning, we took Jack straight to bed and he cried to me and made me promise I wasn’t ever going to let them make him die in hospital, and I had to be there when he died, he wants me to be the last thing he sees. I know it’s getting serious for him now, he didn’t want to talk about his death before, but he’s been talking about it more and more recently, all the stuff I don’t want to talk about, like his funeral. I can’t bear to talk about it with him. I don’t want Jack to tell me how much pain he’s in either, I don’t want to know. Now though, he can’t hide it any more, he winces every time he has to move. I understand why he wanted to keep it all from me though, I worry enough about him as it is. I’m happier not knowing. Ignorance is bliss as they say, although I wish I could be blissful with Jack like he is. We’ve got the nurse coming to Jack’s house twice a week now to check up on him, but as it goes on it could be more and more, maybe even every day. Jack hates it though, he wants everything to be normal, but it can’t be normal when he can hardly move. He can’t even reach over to kiss me. He’s completely bedridden, he can’t even get out of bed to eat, and it’s such a struggle when he has to get out to go to the toilet. I lie there in bed with him all day, both of us with no clothes on, enjoying being warm in bed with each other, but it’s so irritating at the same time to not be able to do the things we want. Jack can’t even hug me properly, all he can do is lie flat on his back, and I can’t lie on top of him because it would put pressure on his spine. It’s so horrible. I know the best times between us are gone now. He’s sentenced to die, and I’m sentenced to watch it. I can’t stand it. Every day brings us one day closer to the most awful day of my life, and the end of Jack’s. every morning when I wake up I wonder if today will be the day, and I know one day very soon it will be. I know Jack feels it too. He always wants to touch and kiss me as much as he can and get the most out of every second we have. I can feel how scared he is. Not just for himself, but for me too. We both have a pretty good idea of what will happen to me when he’s gone. He’s been talking to me a lot about it. He wants me to promise I’ll find someone else who’ll make me happy after he dies, but that’s not a promise I’m going to make. Nobody will ever be able to replace Jack.

See, what can I learn from my own events? Getting involved with people always seems to end in heartbreak. The only solution is to not get involved. I used to think it was all worth it, but my heart feels like its being crushed, and Jack hasn’t even died yet.

Getting out of bed on a Sunday morning has gone now too. I don’t miss going to church at all, but Jack feels bad not being well enough to be able to go, and that makes me feel bad. When we’re lying in bed at night and he thinks I’m asleep, I hear him praying, and I can hear in his voice that he’s crying. He always talks about me, praying that I’ll be alright when he’s gone, but I have no hope on that front. I’m not alright now, and he’s still here.

How can anyone make the choice to do something like that? To think of doing something like that to your own child. The thought is horrendous.

Gabriel, having your head chopped off is too easy. Think about terrorists. They’d just think that either way they’re going to die, so they might as well murder us all before they get caught. Regardless of what’s going on with the economy and all that, doesn’t mean morals should go out the window. Oh, and the economy. Is it just me who doesn’t understand? The government and the country are going through tough times and all, not enough money coming in, so the solution? Cut VAT to 15%. Nice to know the government are actually capable of cutting taxes and not just putting them up, but is 2.5% going to make that much difference? All it means is a few measly pennies come off of things, while it’s millions the government aren’t having when they don’t have enough money as it is to do things like give Jack the operation he needs to be able to live what’s left of his life. People aren’t going to go out and buy more because of the few pennies coming off of the price of things. Even if you spend £100, all you save is £2.50. It must be costing the economy more on all this money businesses are spending to implement the new VAT rate. It’s false economy.

All the reasons you listed are perfectly good reasons for why pornography is a BAD business to get into. Having sex with loads of people isn’t a good thing, if guys want to see women’s bodies they should go out and get a girlfriend, and any money you earn is filthy money. Porn pretty much says to people “This is how it’s done, so go out and do it”, when that’s not how it should be done at all, especially not with a stranger. Pornography has no place in civilised society.

I can remember the good old times in my head, I don’t need DVDs of us having sex. I don’t want to watch DVDs of anyone having sex, especially not me and Jack. I don’t want to know what we looked like, it takes the magic away.

I actually tried watching the DVD you sent me of the wedding, I wanted to see it, but I gave up after the “few scenes” of you stripping. I started off trying to wind past those parts, but I gave up when it got to the point where for every minute of the wedding there was there was 15 minutes of you. The scene of you with Michael and five other guys in bed was what made me stop.

Marriage is about showing your undying love for someone. Not wanting to get married is like admitting that you don’t really love them that much. If you really love someone, then marriage is the natural thing to do. How long have you and Michael been together now?

Sex with strangers purely for fun creates an awful lot of problems, and all for a few moments of pleasure. All those STDs going around and unplanned pregnancies, it and things end up happening like Damien has right now. All that could be avoided if people could just learn to control themselves.

What, so Jack and his dad being related didn't count as a common starting point?!?

I define good taste as just about the total opposite of what you just described. There’s more to life than sex. A lot of people think sex is the most important thing though, and that causes a lot of the problems there are today.

Gabriel, you’re really taking this too far! It’s bad enough that you’re watching, without recording DVDs and making comments about me when I’m having an orgasm. There’s not going to be any more though. Possibly ever. My life might as well end with Jack’s for everything I can see happening afterwards…

…Do I really?

You won’t be surprised then when I don’t believe that you really had my best interests at heart when you taught me to pole dance or handcuffed me and my husband to a lamppost practically naked hours before our wedding.

Well, I’ve got nothing else to say. Jack’s asleep in bed behind me. The painkillers the doctors have given him make him sleep, and he was sleeping loads before. Now he spends more time sleeping than awake. I love him so so much, but I can only spend so many hours in bed watching him sleep. I can’t bear it. I want to be able to stay up in bed until the early hours of the morning like we always used to. Being happy together, not me sitting here on my own watching him sleeping through the last days of his life.


Monday, December 01, 2008

To: Poppy
Re: Events, Tragedies and the Future

This, sadly, is something Damien has to sort out for himself. That is, if he can. Eventually he'll snap under the pressure, as all humans have a limit as to what they can take. It is a shame that he's dropped out of college though, another part of his life that's ended because of his inability to stand up for himself.

Of course, the greater tragedy is Chelsea. Being raised by a parent who doesn't give a toss, and another who can't because he's being subjugated by the mother isn't going to end well for her. Of course, eventually social services might simply take her away if someone complains about it. At the moment, that's the best outcome she can really hope for.

The Facebook issue is something that could well act as a trigger. If Damien is forced to reveal Michelle to Kirsty (and vice versa being the inevitable result), neither one will react well. That could well lead to a physical fight, or possibly something even more dangerous. Of course, whichever woman wins that exchange, Damien stands to lose.

Well, in Gabriel's defence, she has to find a perverted way of being compassionate. Given your aversion to such, she couldn't have been open with you about her intentions and expect her idea to work. The way she did it was quite effective, and resulted in all of your lives improving somewhat. It might be worth noting that she was keeping an eye on you both when you were tied to that lamppost, and would not have let anyone else see you.

Your Dad not having meaningless relationships anymore is one good example of her positive effect. He's also opened up to you considerably, and will no doubt be there for you in the times ahead. If that hadn't happened, you'd have ended up almost entirely alone (at least, human wise). She knew you'd need that.

You're quite right that Jack is now coming to the end of his life. The probability of his survival has now dropped to an almost nonexistent level. The only thing left to do is make sure you spend what time you have left together, being as open with each other as you can. You should definitely try to get him to open up about what he's going through, after all, as a married couple you're not supposed to keep things from each other.

It is perhaps worth noting that people generally feel that anyone intelligent with a decent sense of morals is not qualified to be a politician. Newspapers go for dramatic effect, because that's the kind of thing people like to pick up, read and complain about. It's an unfortunate fact that humans tend to look at events and see only the sorrow in them, rather than the potential to learn from such tragedy's. If it was otherwise, your world might be in a very different state. Still, it is only one world, and it will not be allowed to inflict such tragedy on the galaxy. We designed the universe to make the odds of that virtually nothing.

The simple answer to how someone can do that to a child, is that they choose to do it. Everyone makes choices all the time, if it were not so, there would be no purpose to life.

-----Original Message-----
From: Complaints Department [mailto:Address removed by anti spam software]
Sent: 22nd November 2008 20:09
To: God
Subject: FW: The eleventh hour

Well we could do that sure! Course, it'd take a fair amount of resources and money to do it though. Maybe just cutting their heads off would be easier huh? You have enough problems with the economy and such to be bothered with that.

By what measure is pornography a good business to get involved in? Are you kidding? You get to have sex with lots of people, have your face (amongst other things!) broadcast across the world, and if you're good at it, you get loads of money! I disagree that you'd be better off without porn, I think depriving people of such would make them more likely to go out raping people, not less.

Hey come on, you might not want those DVD's now, but later on you'll be able to remember the good old times! That reminds me actually, I've sent one of your wedding. I think there might be a couple of scenes of me stripping in there too, but that's what you get when you tell the bloody thing to record automagically.

Well I just think it's bad to rely totally on one person. You can never count on them being around forever, and funnily enough there are other worthwhile people out there too! Marriage is making vows, and people change. I guess my main objection is that people shouldn't make promises they might not be able (or willing) to keep.

Well, if I seduced him we'd have ended up having sex, so it wasn't that. It was more just letting him be a little liberated, so that he'd have some common starting point with his dad. Well, that and the fact that it was fun!

For humans sex can be one of two things, or both. It can be for pleasure, or it can be a means of physically expressing love. Nothing wrong with either way, or mixing them together. Society makes people believe that sex for fun is wrong, when in fact it's simply a belief passed down from outdated dogma and... Idiots.

Boobs are for breastfeeding babies (or anyone!), but they're also a big part of what makes a woman attractive! I define good taste as something that brings me and other people pleasure, and being a human dressed up in sexy clothes certainly does that! What's your definition?

Speaking of pleasure, did you know when you have an orgasm you tremble somewhat and your face goes bright red? It's really very attractive!

I don't expect trust in the short term, like if I say something to you, I don't expect you to immediately believe it. Still, you should trust that I have your best interests at heart when I'm manipulating the situation. That's what counts.

Love, light and medical experiments,

Signature - There'll be time for explanations later. And hopefully, some sex!