Re: Faith in yourself
I’m sure you can’t be suggesting that I should decide everything on my own. You know I make too many stupid decisions. You said yourself that everyone’s fallible, but it seems like I’m even more fallible than everyone else. It’s too much responsibility for me. The last time I followed my heart, I got drunk and we all know what happened after that. If I had still been following my religion as strictly as I used to, I wouldn’t have gotten drunk in the first place and none of that would ever have happened.
Religions don’t start wars, and they don’t abuse children. Religions are groups of teachings centred around something. People start wars and abuse children. Even if they claim to belong to a certain religion, if a person really followed it properly then they wouldn’t do those things. Those things happen when they have more ‘faith’ in themselves than their religion, and here you are telling me to have faith in myself. I’m not going to start wars or abuse children, but without something there to guide me, there are an awful lot of wrong things I could end up doing quite by accident that the Bible would never have allowed me to do.
I don’t see why I should have to change. In a lot of respects, I was doing a lot better when I was a proper Christian. I didn’t have to have a long ethical debate with myself over EVERYTHING I do.
Religion is (or maybe it was…) a big part of who I am. It’s the way I’ve lived my whole life. It’s the way I was brought up. It just feels like a slap in the face to my mum’s memory the fact that you’ve managed to break down in two months what took me eighteen years to build up. I know nobody would have been able to break down my mum’s religion. It makes me feel weak.
I’ve had a really good day today. Jack was taking his sister Emily ice skating and asked me if I wanted to come as well. I fell over so many times and I’m hurting all over, but we had really good fun. The embarrassing thing was that I’d been ice skating before and I kept falling over, but Emily’s only 9 and had never been before and she didn’t fall over once. I’ve just come home to get changed, since my clothes are now all wet from melted ice. I’m going over to Jack’s for dinner tonight.
Gabriel, it has everything to do with compassion! If you were that compassionate, you’d know I don’t want to be watched in the shower and you wouldn’t do it. You might have noticed I didn’t have a shower this morning, and it’s all your fault that my hair looks horrible today. I’m hoping you didn’t notice actually, because you shouldn’t be watching. I can’t believe the person who told me not to upload the photo of Damien onto Facebook because it would end up causing me trouble is the same person who’s suggesting I film myself singing in the shower and uploading it onto YouTube. How long have you been watching me? Actually, I’m not sure if I want to know the answer to that question. Just promise me that you’ll stop, and I want you to mean it. Find yourself a new favourite.
I do notice a lot of people stay with people they hate, but you don’t really have much choice when it’s your family. I hate my dad, but I don’t have much choice at the moment. The second I’m able to move out on my own, I’ll do it without looking back.
-Poppy
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