Friday, May 02, 2008

To: Poppy
Re: Fish, love and revenge

I'll thank them for you when they get back, although it sounds like they enjoyed doing it. About the hangover, don't worry, it's only because you're not used to being drunk and doesn't mean anything serious.



They are still on earth yes, preparing to return as I write this. Although Raphael's been trying to find them without much luck. I'm told there are over 200 of his agents there now trying, but Gabriel's always been good at hiding. To answer your question, yes all the angels are obsessed with something. Angels are actually souls who have dedicated a large portion of their existence to the pursuit of one particular experience, so one could certainly say they're obsessed with whatever it is. Naturally, as they form relationships some of these desires spill over, so in the example of Gabriel (angel of perversity) and Michael (angel of compassion) they both tend to 'leak' a little of their personalities over to each other. Be glad it is so, otherwise you might not be so 'pure' right now.




Damien and Michelle are nearly always arguing in fact, he's just trying to get to you. Knowing about you and knowing Damien's still trying to get to you has made her believe he might want you back, and that's really getting to her.




Well, as to your questions about M_ses and the Israelites, first I will say yes, he was that bad. He's somewhat started to repent these past few centuries but it's a long process. I doubt he'll ever forgive himself completely, at least, until he returns to us. Now, the Israelites did have it bad, but rather than trying to free them he wanted to rule them, and do so far more viciously than those who ruled Egypt at the time. He provided them with the false belief that they were my 'chosen' people (as if I'd choose a favourite race), that it might be easier for them to later kill anyone he ordered.




Now, you asked if there was anything in the Bible that was actually true. The answer to that is yes, if you look to the very first line of Genesis it states:




"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."




That line is true (pretty much). As to Harry Potter, part of the reason this message took so long is because you mentioned that book, and due to the hatred that exists amongst the angels for that book the filter system immediately thought it was under attack, and the military arm of angels was preparing their weapons of mass destruction for almost 2 hours before someone realised it was a mistake.




The Ten Commandments might make sense, but they are obvious to most people in any case. Back then evidence for crimes was harder to come by, and so those in power got away with far more than they would today. As to why M_ses went bad, well, he always believed he was abandoned as a child, which was a constant source of pain for him, believing his people to be capable of such. He vowed to himself not only to enslave his own people, but to use them to eradicate all other human beings.




Naturally, 'the rock' was just another Bible story, but one that M_ses forced himself. In actual fact the stone did not contain water, but blood from virgin girls M_ses murdered, he liked to keep a small amount of blood from each of his victims and used the almost hollow rock to store it. Eventually due to natural forces at work on the rock it began to leak, and M_ses, thinking quickly forced those with him at the time to bear witness to the falsehood that a miracle had occurred which he was responsible for.




It was soon after this that the angel Michael intervened, forcibly banishing him from the land the Israelites claimed as theirs. Sadly his legacy and some of his dark beliefs persist to this very day.




-----Original Message-----

From: Complaints Department [mailto:Address removed by anti spam software]

Sent: 2 May 2008 16:07

To: God

Subject: FW: Damien and M_ses




I apologise that it took longer than usual to forward this, as you might imagine I've been busy looking for my trout. That and the spam filters were acting up badly, blocking the routes to the universe. It is for that reason and that reason only that Gabriel has an extended deadline.




Anyway the human thing said in this letter that Damien had the trout, so I have just visited its quaint little planet and found him. He couldn't remember most of what happened, apparently Poppy wasn't the only one who got very drunk that night. Still, after a fairly lengthy interrogation he gave me enough information to go on to figure out where he last saw it (don't worry, I've muddled his memory enough to make sure he thought it was a dream. Due to the nature of the interrogation and its residual memories, the worst that'll happen is he'll have some trouble getting an erection for a while).




Anyway, all I found there was a note:


I have sent people to get these items for me, and I will have to agree if I can't get to her and the fish before the deadline. But if I find that angel first...



Let's just say I'll make M_ses look like a nice guy.




Love, light and trout,

Raphael

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