Hlp me o lord

To: God
Re: A full set of experiences

So you’ve got some kind of mental list of all the billions of billions of billions of experiences that are out there, and you’re working your way through them? You said that it was so many that humans and most other life forms couldn’t comprehend it. Aren’t humans supposed to be the most intelligent species on the planet?

When I was a kid, I used to collect stickers. Mum used to buy me two packets every Wednesday when she’d pick me up from school and I’d put them in my album, but there was always one or two stickers in the set at the end that I would never seem to be able to get, no matter how many packets of stickers I got. Are there some really obscure experiences on your list that are going to be impossible to get like that?

When the universe ends and starts again, will it be the same as it was before, or will it be different? With the same people and everything, just making different choices? I can’t say I’m attached to the idea of having to live through this life again. Then again, if it’s different choices, would there be a chance that if it DID all happen again, that Mum wouldn’t get killed next time? That was the one defining point in my life where everything just went completely wrong and has been ever since. I honestly can’t remember ever being sad before that point, let alone feeling terrible like I do just about all the time now.

Even if Dad was here for much more than an hour a day (he treats the house like a hotel most of the time where he sleeps but doesn’t do much else here unless he brings his girlfriend(s) back) I wouldn’t want to speak to him about it. After Mum died, we hardly spoke at all. We used to talk sometimes when he used to drive me to primary school, but once I started secondary school and it was in walking distance, we hardly ever talked, and still don’t.

Gabriel, are you seriously telling me that the whole terrorism problem in the world today is Raphael’s fault? Why am I not surprised?

Christmas is always a take it or leave it thing for me anyway, but it’s the only time of year I can kid myself into being happy. Dad’s normally with his current girlfriend at Christmas, and for the past two Christmases I ended up with Damien’s family, but that’s obviously that’s not going to be happening this year. At least this year I’ll be able to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special without Damien and his two brothers passing comments about Kylie Minogue’s low cut dress, or the year before that how Catherine Tate was tightly packed into her wedding dress. The Doctor Who Christmas special is the only thing to me that makes Christmas worthwhile now.

Let me guess, Mary wasn’t quite as much of a virgin as the Bible would have us believe?

-Poppy