Wednesday, May 14, 2008

To: God
Re: Different people

Okay, I think I’m going to have to force myself to stop thinking about all these aliens and pretend you didn’t say that it’ll happen anyway, or else I’m going to end up doing myself mental damage. Even though my life sucks right now, I don’t want to be killed, even if it does mean I get to start a new life. I’ve come this far, I’d like to see it through to the end.


You seem to have a really bad idea about religious people. I was religious, and you managed to change me easily enough. What makes you think you wouldn’t be able to do it with everyone else?


What you said about people being persecuted for different things…


Where did all the different religions come from? From what I’ve heard none of them have it right. Surely it would be better if you did something to stop all of these religions and make sure everyone knows everything the way it is? Why did it never occur to you to tell everyone what you're telling me now? That way, wars and murders wouldn’t happen because of all the different religions.


It’s the same with all the different races. If the world started with Adam and Eve and their kids, where did all the different races come from?


I think Dad’s split up with his latest girlfriend. He hasn’t said anything, but all the signs are there. He’s been coming home after work and then spending all night out. I know I hate Dad having all of these girlfriends, but at least it gets him out of the house so I don’t have to think about him. Out of sight, out of mind. I’ve gotten used to being on my own. It almost feels like an invasion of my territory having him here in the evenings before he goes out. It doesn’t feel like our house, it feels like my house because he’s normally never here. I wish I had somewhere decent I could go to when he comes home. Church is losing its calming effect on me recently and there’s nowhere else I want to go on my own. I think I’m going to have to start taking babysitting jobs again like I used to. I used to babysit all the time, but I haven’t been in the mood these past few months. I’ve almost cleared my bank account now, and I need something to keep me occupied. Maybe then I’ll be able to afford to go somewhere when I need to get out of the house.


Having said that though, having no credit on my phone is an excellent excuse not to answer Damien’s texts. I got three texts from him today. Michelle went into hospital to have a scan on their baby today, apparently, and he was sat in his car texting me while waiting to pick her up. I really wish he wouldn’t text me, especially not with updates on his and Michelle’s baby. Does he really think I care when it’s due? I really don’t want to know. I’m happier pretending that he, Michelle and the baby don’t exist. I wish he’d understand that. The way he texts me about it, it’s like he could be talking about the weather or something. He never really was very thoughtful. I doubt he stops to think about how I feel about things before he decides to tell me everything. I know he has enough other friends that he could text when he gets bored. Why does he have to keep texting me? I don’t know why I bother keeping my phone on all the time. It’s not like I’ve got anyone else who’s going to text or phone me. I only got my phone when me and Damien got together to make it easier to keep in touch with each other. Now there’s nothing I could want less than to keep in touch with him.


Gabriel says good luck? Who’s going to be filling in for her? You know, I don’t care. Nobody can be worse than Raphael.


-Poppy


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