Wednesday, April 30, 2008

To: God
Re: Damien and M_ses

Ah, I’m so glad I know what went on now. I automatically assumed the worst. The next time Gabriel and Michael decide it’s necessary to get me drunk though, can you ask them to go a bit easier on me? I’m still feeling terrible. How long do these hangovers normally last? Maybe I just have a really low tolerance for it, having never got drunk before. I think I must have consumed more alcohol last night than I have in my entire life. I can’t say I’m not grateful though, in another sense. As far as revenge goes, I’m not sure I could top what Michael and Gabriel did, so tell them thanks.


Damien and Michelle have been arguing? The way Damien was ‘talking’ to me, he was making out that him and Michelle had the perfect relationship. I was trying to tell Michelle about his other girlfriend, but Damien was telling her that I was just making it up to spite him and she wouldn’t believe it. I wish I had more information on her. I don’t even know her name. I only know about her because Damien told me he had another girlfriend when I found out about Michelle and didn’t have much else to lose. I’m sure one of these days I’ll find out.


Oh, are Michael and Gabriel still on Earth? Damien just called and said how he woke up this afternoon half naked and doesn’t know where he is and needs a lift home. Yes, he actually had the nerve to call me, of all people. He says that after last night Michelle isn’t talking to him and won’t pick him up. At least that’s what I think he said. I was too busy laughing at him (I know Gabriel and Michael have already had their way with him, but it can’t hurt to rub it in a bit. It felt fantastic). He said something about how when he’d woken up there was a large trout next to him. I think that Gabriel must have left it behind. I’m not quite sure what Raphael’s obsession is (is it just me, or do all the angels seem to be obsessed with one thing or another?), but after reading his message to Gabriel, I’m worried he’s going to do something bad. If Gabriel asks, can you tell her Damien’s got it?


So, ‘M’ was really that bad, huh? I know it says a lot in the Bible, but it says that you had chosen the Israelites as your chosen people, and he was just avenging them for all the terrible things that had been done to them. Now that’s a lie as well? Is there anything in the Bible that actually IS true? Are there any pages in there that would be worth me not ripping out and burning like I did with Harry Potter?


‘M’ can’t be that much of a bad guy though, right? I mean, he helped the slaves escape from Egypt, after you had sent ten plagues to kill all the Egyptians, or so it says. Surely that’s got to be a good thing? Even if you didn’t come up with the ten commandments, they all seem to make sense. What happened to make him turn bad?


And what’s the deal with the rock, anyway? Okay, so he didn’t give you proper credit for making the water come out of the rock. I can understand that you’d be a bit upset, but not letting him into the promised land because of that always seemed a bit harsh to me.


Right, I think I’m off to bed now. I hope this hangover will have gone by tomorrow.


-Poppy


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