Hlp me o lord

To: God
Re: Help me lord

Dear God,

I’ve always believed in you, I really have, but recently it’s been getting really difficult for me. I always used to think that you were such a good person, but I’ve had to do a lot of growing up and now it’s getting more difficult by the day.

My mum used to love you. When I was a kid she would always make me go to Sunday school and was telling me all the stories of what you had done for the world. Now I’m eighteen and not a kid any more, I’ve begun to realise what you’re not doing for the world.

I guess you already know that my mum’s dead. She was hit by a guy in a car five times the drink drive limit when I was nine. I used to think that she was happy now because she’d gone to Heaven, but I can’t believe in Heaven any more. The guy who killed my mum never got convicted. There’s no justice in this life, why should there be any in the next?

Why is the world such a horrible place? Why is there so much evil in the world? If you really exist, why do you do nothing to stop it? You’re supposed to love humankind, right? Why don’t you do anything to make the world better for us? If you created the world and everyone, why did you create people like the guy who killed my mum?

I thought about this for years, and I’ll be honest that I stopped believing in you. It wasn’t until I was sixteen and met my boyfriend Damien that I started believing in you again. I didn’t think you could be that bad after all because you’d done something good for me. Me and Damien had two fantastic years together. I loved him more than anything. I knew he was the one. I thought he was. I thought we were gonna be together forever. Get married and have kids and all that. That was until I found out he had two other girlfriends, and even then it wasn’t until he got her pregnant that I even had any idea.

Why do you like torturing me so much? You took my mum for me, and now you’ve taken Damien as well. To make it even worse, my Dad’s found a new woman, and I can’t stand her. There can’t be any replacement for my mum, just like there won’t be any replacement for Damien.

I don’t have anything to live for any more. I have nothing to feel good about in my life. I feel so depressed. Even though it’s been three weeks since me and Damien split up, I haven’t felt happy once. I can only assume the rest of my life will be the same now, and if that’s gonna be the case, I don’t want to live that life. What’s the point of me living any more?

I’ve tried God, but I just can’t believe that a world with someone who’s supposed to be so loving and powerful can be so terrible. I don’t belong here. I don’t know if you exist any more, or even what I’m going to do with this email, but if I save it and you’re really out there, I know you’ll find it and let me know somehow that you’re there. I know this sounds so cheesy, but just give me a sign! Just somehow let me know that you’re there. If you can do this, then it might be worth me living. If you don’t though, then there’s no point in me staying here.

Help me, lord.

-Poppy